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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26391628">Instruments of Fate</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArinaKuga/pseuds/ArinaKuga'>ArinaKuga</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TWICE (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Hanahaki Disease, medical things</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:54:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,563</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26391628</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArinaKuga/pseuds/ArinaKuga</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Despite the warning and consequences, why does Nayeon still vomit flowers into the toilet bowl of her bathroom at 3 in the morning?</p><p> </p><p>  <em>Are we instruments of fate?</em><br/><em>Do we really have a choice?</em><br/><em>We threw our hearts into the sea</em><br/><em>Forgot all of our memories</em></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Im Nayeon/Minatozaki Sana, Im Nayeon/Yoo Jeongyeon, Myoui Mina/Yoo Jeongyeon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>108</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Instruments of Fate</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello there, welcome. This is the promised hanahaki fic that I've been raving on my twitter a few months ago. It took me this long to write because I had a bit of a block so to speak. But I finished it! So, enjoy :D</p><p>Beta'd by Ten and Yssa 🥰</p><p>The song that loops throughout the writing process <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5oyZw_0Ap4">Woodkid - Boat Song</a><br/><a href="https://twitter.com/anothingqueer/status/1304086189926879233">MoodBoard</a></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nayeon was taught in high school biology class about a rare disease that would take root on a person’s nerves and encompass their whole inside with vines and flowers. The patient would have no choice but to vomit out the abundance of flowers that took up space in their lungs. It was taught as early as it was because scientists believed that high school is the time for love to bloom and the disease was born out of unrequited love. However, they only taught the surface of it.</p><p>Her mother had a sense of mind to teach her in-depth on what it truly was, having witnessed herself what the disease could do. She told her how the root would take hold of your system, embedding itself within you and eating away your emotions and memories, rendering you emotionless and incapable to feel when it reached its peak.</p><p>You’ll live, but only as a husk of your former self. To people, It was akin to death itself.</p><p>But despite the warning and consequences, why did Nayeon still vomit flowers into the toilet bowl of her bathroom at 3 in the morning?</p><p>After coughing out the remaining petals, she tried taking a deep breath, only to choke because her lungs felt like it was filled with water. Suddenly a sharp pain lanced through her head. She fell to her knees, clutching it. When the pain subsided, she got up to her feet and flushed the toilet, hiding the evidence of her weakness. She washed her face and got out of the bathroom, startled when she realized that Sana was awake.</p><p>“Babe, are you okay? That was a bad cough,” Sana asked worriedly on their bed.</p><p>Nayeon smiled weakly at her girlfriend. “I’m okay. It was too cold so my chest hurts.”</p><p>That seemed to calm Sana down as she laid back down. She patted the space next to her, beckoning Nayeon to lay with her. “I’ll help warm you up.”</p><p>Nayeon laid down next to the girl, chuckling. “You just want to cop a feel.”</p><p>Sana shrugged, smiling mischievously. “You caught me.” Then her expression turned serious. “If it gets worse maybe you should go see that doctor again.”</p><p>“Don’t worry, it won’t but I’ll make an appointment later,” Nayeon murmured.</p><p>Sana didn’t push further, kissing Nayeon on the cheek as she burrowed deep into the comforter. “Okay. I love you, goodnight.”</p><p>“Goodnight, Sana.” Nayeon turned to her side, not wanting Sana to see how conflicted she was to say it back.</p><p>Nayeon woke up with a note on her forehead from Sana explaining that she needed to go to work early. She sighed, still tired because her chest hadn’t calmed down since yesterday. She got up and went to the bathroom to prepare for work. Looking in the mirror she could see dark circles under her eyes from the lack of sleep. She opened the cabinet and took out some medicine.</p><p>After years of research through a series of trials and errors, doctors had managed to create prescriptions that would help slow down the process of the ‘rooting’; the point of no return for the disease. Even so, it cannot be counted as a permanent method because there was only one way to fully stop the disease. But she settled with medication instead because she was not ready for the other method.</p><p>She counted the pills that were left and realized that she was running out. She sighed, noting to herself to go and see her doctor.</p><p>She popped one and readied herself for work.</p><p>——————</p><p>It was a fairly busy day for her, but during her break, she managed to call the hospital to set an appointment. It took two rings for her call to be answered and instead of the usual nurse, Tzuyu, it was the doctor herself who picked it up.</p><p>“Hello, Jihyo’s office. This is Jihyo speaking.”</p><p>“Uhm, hello Jihyo.” Nayeon heard a hum from the other side.</p><p>“Nayeon, would you like to set a new appointment? You missed the last one.”</p><p>Nayeon bit her lip, feeling guilty. “I’ve been busy these past weeks, sorry.” Jihyo was a specialist on the disease and had been her doctor since the beginning. In other words, they were close, especially when she confided everything to the doctor.</p><p>“Well, you can make it up to me by coming to the next appointment.”</p><p>Nayeon huffed. “Of course.” She told the doctor the time and date then ended the call immediately. She slouched into herself, staring at the egg sandwich in her lap that was left untouched because she lost her appetite. The thought of opening up about herself had always made her stomach churn. Especially when the topic in question is about Sana, her girlfriend and Jeongyeon, her best friend that she had been pining for.</p><p>She knew Jeongyeon since they were kids. They grew up together, went to the same school together, and were pretty much joint at the hip. But the one that fell for the other was her. And the one that had her heart broken was also her. Like a cliché high school drama, but even those had happy endings. She couldn’t confess for fear of ruining what they have and because of her cowardice, Jeongyeon fell for someone else.</p><p>And then she met Sana during her college year. It was during a class that they took together. From an outside perspective it could have been called a cute first meet, what with Sana almost losing her step and Nayeon managing to catch her. She remembered how cutely Sana asked if she could sit next to her and she agreed without a second thought. They instantly clicked when they started talking because they had a lot of similar interests. She felt comfortable around her. Sana was safe, warm, and so lovely.</p><p>But Nayeon was a mess, especially when she was starting to show symptoms of it, vomiting forget-me-nots (the fucking irony of it all) in her dorm’s toilet, crying as she couldn’t remember if she ate lunch alone or with Jeongyeon that day.</p><p>And then Sana confessed to her. Jeongyeon, being the best friend that she was, pushed her to Sana. So, she tried, in the hope of being able to move on. But 2 years later, she still hadn’t.</p><p>She snapped out of her reverie when her phone vibrated. It was Jeongyeon, asking if she’s free to have dinner with her. Nayeon could feel her throat starting to itch, but she already agreed before she could think about it.</p><p>————</p><p>Nayeon waited by their usual spot, a little hole in the wall burger joint that they frequented during college (she jotted that down in her phone so that she’d remember where it was). She wanted to order first so that they didn’t have to wait long, but in her inept state she accidentally deleted the note that had the order. She drew up a blank and almost gave up until the owner helped her. Luckily, they knew them well enough to remember their order and she was grateful for that but at the same time she felt vulnerable.</p><p>After she ordered, she sat at one of the empty seats. A few minutes of waiting, the door opened and there she was, her source of hope and torment. Jeongyeon came to her, smiling that beautiful smile she’d always been captivated by and she was powerless to stop the fluttering in her stomach.</p><p>“Hey, sorry I was late. Traffic was horrible on the way here,” Jeongyeon explained, sitting down opposite of her.</p><p>“It’s fine. I’m used to it,” Nayeon said jokingly.</p><p>Jeongyeon huffed but she was smiling. “Anyway, do you noticed anything different?” She suddenly asked, carding her fingers through her short hair.</p><p>Nayeon jolted, feeling heat crawling up her back. She took in Jeongyeon’s appearance, eyes darting everywhere in search of what was new. Because as far as she knew, there was no change.</p><p>Jeongyeon looked at her oddly. “C’mon Nayeon, we last saw each other like 2 days ago. Surely you would’ve noticed something changed from the moment I entered.”</p><p>Nayeon let out a nervous laugh. “I-uh, something changed alright.”</p><p>“I’m blonde now.”</p><p>Nayeon blinked, finally realizing. “I’m just messing with you.” She reached for her drink and squeezed the glass to calm herself. The cold grounding her. “It looks good on you.”</p><p>Jeongyeon quirked her eyebrow. “You got me there and thanks,” she murmured. “Thought you’ll be a bit, I don’t know, more enthusiastic about this.” She waved at her hair. “You were the one that suggested I should go blonde some time ago.”</p><p>“I’m too old to be jumping around and screaming.”</p><p>Jeongyeon snorted. “Oh, you’re old alright.” She yelped when Nayeon kicked her under the table. Before she could retaliate, the waitress came and brought their order.</p><p>Fight forgotten, they started to eat quietly, but Nayeon could sense that Jeongyeon had something else she wanted to say, with the way she was fidgeting in her seat and eyebrows furrowed every few seconds. She breathes slowly, calming down her heart rate, hoping that Jeongyeon wasn’t thinking about the slip-up.</p><p>“Are you free next weekend?”</p><p>“Saturday? I have an appointment with my doctor.”</p><p>“The specialist for your chest?” Jeongyeon asked.</p><p>Nayeon nodded, not paying attention. “Yeah.”</p><p>“You’ve never told me why you needed to see a specialist.”</p><p>Nayeon stopped eating. “Sometimes I don’t need to tell you anything and everything Jeongyeon,” she said coldly. </p><p>Jeongyeon’s hand on her own startled her.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push like that. I’m just worried is all.” Jeongyeon pulled her hand back and held it up. “But you’re right, just because we know each other since birth doesn’t mean we have to tell each other everything.”</p><p>Her throat started to itch, so she gulped down some water to stop herself from coughing. “I’m okay Jeongie, you don’t have to worry about me.” Jeongyeon’s gentle smile made her heart swell, but she knew that it was no more than a friendly smile.</p><p>“Does Sana know about it?”</p><p>“She knows that I go.”</p><p>“Same as me,” Jeongyeon murmured.</p><p>Nayeon didn’t want the girl to dwell on it anymore so she changed the subject. “Why did you ask? About next weekend.” Her strategy seemed to work when Jeongyeon lit up.</p><p>“Oh! It’s just that we haven’t had a proper hangout. Like a vacation together. You remember that time we talked about going somewhere when we’re adults and have the money for it?”</p><p>Nayeon nodded, pretending to remember, but really, she didn’t. “Yeah, I do. Just us for this vacation?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Jeongyeon said excitedly.</p><p>“No Sana or Mina?” Nayeon asked for clarification. Mina was Jeongyeon’s current girlfriend since college; the reason why Nayeon couldn’t confess. Despite that Nayeon didn’t resent the girl, opted to blame herself for being too late and now she was paying the price for it. Even though Jihyo had told her time and time again that it was not because of that, deep down she could never shake the feeling off.</p><p>Jeongyeon nodded. “Just us.”</p><p>And as usual, Nayeon agreed without thinking much about it. A simp for someone that she could never be with. “I’ll change my appointment to Friday then.”</p><p>———</p><p>The week went by without a hitch. Safe for a few coughs and vomiting incidents at night that left her breathless the next morning. She woke up earlier than usual for appointment day. Anxious the moment she opened her eyes because she’s nervous to meet Jihyo. She channeled her jitters into making breakfast for Sana and her. A simple toast and omelet. She jumped when hands wrapped around her waist and a familiar scent invaded her space.</p><p>“You’re up early,” Sana murmured in her ear softly. She was already dressed and ready for work.</p><p>“Y-yeah. Got an appointment with my doctor,” Nayeon stammered.</p><p>Sana let her go, following her to the table. “Ah, right. I forgot about that.” She sat down and started chowing down her breakfast. “You should ask her if there’s something stronger. The cough is getting worse.”</p><p>Nayeon hummed in agreement, chewing on her toast slowly. They ate in silence and Sana stood up after she finished, kissing Nayeon on the cheek as thanks for the breakfast.</p><p>“Maybe we can get lunch later too,” Sana suggested, halfway walking towards the door. “I love you Nayeon.”</p><p>“I know. I’ll text you if I can make it for lunch.”</p><p>Sana smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes and Nayeon noticed it. It made her stomach churn, but she shook the thought away, burying it deep like all her problems.</p><p>———</p><p>Nayeon fidgeted in her seat, waiting for her turn to meet Jihyo. She already finished having her chest scanned by the nurse and now she just needed to consult with Jihyo. The waiting room was small, almost rectangular shaped with chairs filling the whole space. The nurse’s desk took up half of the room. The wall was adorned with posters on how to combat the disease or how to recognize symptoms. She couldn’t help but grimace because of how basic the info was.</p><p>She wasn’t alone in the waiting room. Tzuyu, the nurse that was once Jihyo’s apprentice manned the reception desk. She was glad Jihyo made the choice to keep her working here, especially with how nice and warm she was (Nayeon liked her because she gave her a cookie once and it made her feel better for the rest of the day).</p><p>Their quiet moment was interrupted however when a woman in her 40s came through the door, expression somber as she walked up to Tzuyu. The words that came out of the woman’s mouth made her blood run cold.</p><p>“My son didn’t make it. The root—” she shook her head and covered her mouth. She couldn’t finish. Tzuyu got up from her seat to get the woman a cup of water. The woman took it gratefully, drinking it to clear her throat. “I have to cease his contract here. Please tell doctor Jihyo how grateful I am for her help, but unfortunately, my son is too stubborn for his own good.”</p><p>“I will and I’m sorry to hear that.”</p><p>The woman shook her head. “All we can hope now is for him to be able to go through his life.”</p><p>Tzuyu nodded and they started processing the contract termination.</p><p>Nayeon sat there listlessly, their voices muffled as if she was underwater. She knew what’ll happen if the disease took over, but to hear it like that felt like a slap to the face. A reminder of what would happen to her if she gave up. So absorbed in her thought, she didn’t realize the lady had left and Tzuyu was softly calling for her.</p><p>“Ms, Im? It’s time.”</p><p>———</p><p>Tzuyu entered the room first with Nayeon in tow. She headed straight to her usual seat, across the table from Jihyo. She observed the room, eyes darting everywhere anxiously.</p><p>“I’ve sent you the results.” Tzuyu tinkered with the laptop on the table, setting it up so her x-ray scan could be displayed on the wall.</p><p>Jihyo smiled charmingly and Nayeon couldn’t help but quirk her eyebrow. “Thank you, Ms. Chou.”</p><p>“You’re welcome,” Tzuyu replied bashfully. They exchanged soft smiles and Tzuyu left the room immediately, leaving her and Jihyo alone together.</p><p>When the door closed, Nayeon smiled mischievously at the doctor. “Huh.”</p><p>“Not a word.” Jihyo checked the scans and furrowed her eyebrows. It wasn’t a good sign. She walked up to the screen where her result was displayed. “You have been taking your medication, right?”</p><p>“Religiously.”</p><p>Jihyo hummed. “If you look here,” she pointed at a dark tendril near the ribcage area, “the vine is embedding itself into the bone.” She changed to another scan, this time of her back. “The root seems to be expanding much faster than before.”</p><p>“Sounds bad.”</p><p>Jihyo ignored her and changed to her lung scans. They froze at the sight. Her lungs were black and looking worse than before. The petals were more visible and almost occupying every inch of space.</p><p>“Explains the coughing getting worse,” Nayeon murmured.</p><p>Jihyo pinched the bridge of her nose, stopping herself from commenting on that. She sat back down, looking at Nayeon with an unreadable expression. “The only thing I can say about this is that the medicine isn’t fast enough to slow down the root from embedding.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>“It’s reaching the point where,” she paused, “reaching the point where it’s difficult to treat.”</p><p>Nayeon sucked in a shaky breath, holding it to stop the tears from falling, but failed when she could feel the first tear rolled down her cheek, then came another and another until she was fully crying into her balled-up fist. “How long Jihyo?”</p><p>“Nayeon…”</p><p>“<em>How</em> <em>long?</em>”</p><p>Jihyo turned to the scans. “Based on the results, a year.”</p><p>Nayeon sighed, running her fingers through her hair anxiously. Reality was finally catching up to her and it felt like a bucket of ice water was thrown on her head. She was speechless.</p><p>“Nayeon, you know there’s only one way to get better.” Jihyo reached out and took her hand. “It’s been years, hasn’t it?” She asked gently. When she got a nod, she continued. “Talk to me about Jeongyeon.” It was an exercise they always did, to gauge how much Nayeon still remembered.</p><p>“She’s blonde now, but I didn’t remember that she wasn’t blonde before. Everything is so patchy that I don’t know which memory I forgot or remember. I still remember her favorite coffee drink, which I believe is a huge feat considering everything.”</p><p>Jihyo hummed. “Talk to me about Sana.”</p><p>Nayeon’s chest tightened. Jihyo believed that Sana might be essential for her to talk about. Not a cure, but a reminder of sorts for her. A reminder that she’s holding someone else’s heart in her hand. “She’s been very attentive since I’ve been coughing a lot more. She told me to ask you for stronger medication for the chest pain.” She chuckled. “She’s in love with me.”</p><p>“But you don’t love her.”</p><p>“I want to love her,” she sighed breathlessly. It was the first time she had ever said that and it was evident when Jihyos’ eyes widened. “Sometimes I wake up and think to myself that I’m ready to let go. That I’m ready to leave it all behind and finally appreciate this girl that loves me, but a part of me still clings to a dead hope and in turn, it festers in me. I don’t even know if I can break it.”</p><p>“From what you’re telling me, you’re making an effort Nayeon. It might seem small to you, but from my observation, it’s more than what you’ve done when we first met. You are moving.”</p><p>“But not fast enough.”</p><p>“And that’s okay too.”</p><p>Nayeon slouched in her seat, sighing in relief. Her shoulder felt lighter, as if the weight she’s been carrying was off her shoulder, if only slightly. “Jeongyeon and I are going on a trip tomorrow, that’s why I asked for the appointment to be rescheduled.”</p><p>“And what do you feel about that?” Jihyo asked.</p><p>“Scared, nervous, and hopeful. The usual.”</p><p>Jihyo leaned back in her seat. “So, conflicted.”</p><p>“That’s one way to put it,” Nayeon murmured.</p><p>“Let me help you untangle it then. You’re scared and nervous to meet her because?”</p><p>“Because I don’t want to spill anything to her or have her find out about this. I know for a fact that she’ll blame herself for it and none of this is her fault.”</p><p>“It’s not your fault either, you need to know that too,” Jihyo interjected. “Hopeful?”</p><p>Nayeon chuckled mirthlessly. “Hopeful that she’ll choose me. But she won’t and that’s the part I have to accept. But I haven’t and it is quite literally killing me.”</p><p>“Glad we’re on the same page about that.” Jihyo drummed her fingers on the table, a habit of hers that Nayeon noticed if she was thinking of what to make of things. “Sometimes it has to hurt in order to heal. Time and time again I’ll always tell this to all my patients, communication.” She got up and walked around the table, sitting on it in front of Nayeon. “The premise of the disease is not solely because of love that everyone seemed to hype about. It’s more of not letting go and letting it fester to the point of death of your own emotion. It’s more unresolved  rather than unrequited.”</p><p>Nayeon murmured, “and the only way to start healing is to let it go.”</p><p>“This will stop when you learn the answer to the question that you’re dying to know.”</p><p>“If I have a chance or not,” Nayeon continued.</p><p>“The answer might hurt you or it might not, but at least you got it.”</p><p>Nayeon hummed.</p><p>“I think you know what to do Nayeon. The question here is, when?”</p><p>———</p><p>After her session with Jihyo, Nayeon took some time to collect herself by sitting on a bench at a nearby park. Talking about her thoughts and feelings had always drained her to the point of exhaustion. But it was necessary. Looking at her watch, she noted that it was Sana’s lunchtime. She called the girl.</p><p>“Do you still wanna get lunch?”</p><p>“Yeah, sure! Same place?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“Okay, and Nayeon, is it okay if I bring Mina along? She’s on her break too and we haven’t caught up with each other for a while now.”</p><p>Nayeon felt dread wash over her, but she agreed anyway.</p><p>It didn’t take long for her to arrive at their favorite lunch spot. A tiny Japanese restaurant that Sana loves because she’s homesick. She found the place when Sana told her about it.</p><p>She entered the place and spotted both girls at the back corner waiting for her. She walked towards them slowly when she noticed they were having a serious conversation, judging by the way Sana’s brows furrowed and Mina frowning. They stopped when she’s near. She took her seat beside Sana, who kissed her on the cheek as a greeting.</p><p>“I already ordered for you by the way,” Sana informed her when she saw Nayeon reaching for the menu.</p><p>“Oh, okay. Thank you, Sana.” The girl beamed at her and Nayeon couldn’t help but smile.</p><p>“How was it?” Sana asked gently.</p><p>“It was okay. Jihyo told me there’s nothing to be worried about.”</p><p>“Park Jihyo?” Mina chimed in.</p><p>Nayeon’s blood ran cold as she stared at the girl. “Yeah.”</p><p>A spark of recognition flashed in Mina’s eyes as she looked at them back and forth. It was clear that she wanted to say something, but she held back. “I heard she’s good at what she does.”</p><p>“She’s the best.”</p><p>Just like that, the topic ended as their food arrived.</p><p>After she finished eating, she went to the restroom to cool down her head. She caught Mina staring at her one too many times and she’s sure it was about what they talked before. She leaned on the sink, heart hammering in her chest. She couldn’t help but feel afraid that Mina would tell Sana about who Jihyo was and in turn blowing her secret wide open.</p><p>The restroom door opened, and Mina came in, looking directly at her through the mirror. “Who?”</p><p>“I can’t tell you.”</p><p>Mina huffed. “Fine, when did you start having it?”</p><p>“For quite a while now.”</p><p>“You mean before Sana?”</p><p>Nayeon kept quiet and Mina sighed. “Tell me the truth Nayeon, what is Sana to you? Do you even love her? Do you know how heartbroken she’ll be if she finds out about this—”</p><p>“You think I don’t know that? You think I want to hurt Sana?” She turned, clenching her fist. “She’s important to me. And right now, I’m trying my damn best to get better.”</p><p>“That’s why you’re seeing Jihyo,” Mina concluded. She stood there staring at her, but then she relented. “Okay.”</p><p>“Okay?”</p><p>Mina nodded. “You’re getting treatment, that means you’re trying.” She walked forward and clasped Nayeon’s shoulder. “Sana is my best friend and I’ll do anything that I can to protect her. Even from you and I don’t care if you’re Jeongyeon’s best friend.”</p><p>Nayeon felt her jaw slacken, feeling scared of this quiet girl for the first time in her life. “I do like her. And I want to love her. I’m doing my best to let this go.” To let Jeongyeon go, but she didn’t say that out loud.</p><p>Mina regarded her one last time and nodded. She turned around to leave.</p><p>“How did you know Park Jihyo?” Nayeon asked.</p><p>Mina stopped in her tracks. “I have a friend—well, <em> had </em> a friend that went to her.” She smiled and left the restroom.</p><p>That was the end of it as they got back to their table together, Sana looking worriedly at her while side-eyeing Mina. “You okay?” She whispered to Nayeon.</p><p>Nayeon kissed her on the cheek to calm her. “I’m good, just needed to wash my face.”</p><p>“I think it’s time we leave. Lunchtime is almost over.” Mina took her handbag and headed towards the cash register.</p><p>Outside of the restaurant, Nayeon pulled Sana into a hug and she hugged back as tightly. “I’ll see you later,” she murmured.</p><p>“Alright babe, love you.” Sana lets go then leaned in to kiss her on the lips.</p><p>Nayeon kissed back. “I know.”</p><p>Even though Sana was already out of sight, she still stood there, contemplating. She realized that she could breathe a little easier.</p><p>———</p><p>“Do you have everything?” Sana asked, flipping the omelet.</p><p>“I think so,” Nayeon answered, searching through her handbag. When Sana plated the omelet, she thanked her and began eating.</p><p>“Your medicine?”</p><p>Nayeon hummed, that was the first thing she packed in her bag. Her phone vibrated and it was Jeongyeon telling her that she’ll arrive in a few minutes. Finishing everything on her plate, she got her suitcase ready to be brought down. Sana trailed along from behind. Exiting the building, they spotted Jeongyeon’s car parked in front, the girl waving at them from inside the car.</p><p>Nayeon’s stomach felt like it was in knots because of how nervous she was. Usually, her cough worsened whenever she was near Jeongyeon for a long period of time, but hopefully the new medication Jihyo prescribed could lessen it.</p><p>“Have fun Nayeon,” Sana murmured softly.</p><p>Nayeon smiled and leaned forward to peck her on the lips, putting a smile on Sana’s face. “I’ll try.” She got in the car and waved Sana goodbye as Jeongyeon drove them away.</p><p>“Ready for a trip of a lifetime, bestie?” Jeongyeon said enthusiastically, smile as radiant as the sun.</p><p>“Ready as I’ll ever be.”</p><p>———</p><p>They arrived at their destination an hour later, thanks to Jeongyeon’s questionable driving skill to a little town near the port. The place seemed familiar to her, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. They parked in front of a house that looked lived-in rather than an Airbnb. She had been here before.</p><p>“Where’d you found this place?”</p><p>Jeongyeon looked at her weirdly. “I know we haven’t been here since we were kids, but do you really not remember <em> my </em>summer house? The place that we always hang out during summer break.”</p><p>Sweat rolled down her back. “Right, my memories are shit.”</p><p>“Yeah, no shit Nayeon.” Jeongyeon laughed.</p><p>They brought the bags in and Jeongyeon led them upstairs toward the bedroom. She opened the first door and Nayeon peered from behind. She was hit with nostalgia. Everything looked familiar but strange at the same time, a limbo as her head tried to recall back the memories that were lost.</p><p>She went in, looking at the picture frames on the shelf, frozen in place when her eyes landed on a picture of her and Jeongyeon during high school. Her head was beginning to hurt as it tried to piece together the memories. She backed off, turning her attention towards the polaroid plastered on the mirror. It took up the whole space and her heart clenched because she couldn’t remember any of the moments. She jumped when Jeongyeon clasped her shoulder.</p><p>“You okay? You’ve been staring for quite a while there.”</p><p>“Just a trip down memory lane,” she lied.</p><p>Jeongyeon smiled toothily at her. “We can do all that when we go out later.”</p><p>Nayeon’s eyebrow twitched.</p><p>———</p><p>After they were settled in more comfortably, they went out to eat. Luckily, she wasn’t as clueless as she had thought. She recognized the places that they went to, although a bit muddier because Jeongyeon was connected to those places. She also noticed how chatty Jeongyeon was being, asking her a hundred different questions whether she remembered what they did there before. Time and time again she’d answer that she didn’t remember much because of how long ago it was.</p><p>Almost all her memories of Jeongyeon were wiped away and what remained were the bits and pieces of the recent years. Her guilt grew exponentially bigger as the day went on, but Jeongyeon didn’t seem to mind her mishaps as she teased her about it.</p><p>She’s also been coughing up a storm, making them stop for a moment so she could cough in peace and collect herself. Jeongyeon, the caring girl that she was, kept asking her if she wanted to rest, but she declined and insisted that they keep moving.</p><p>They end their journey in front of a tiny arts and crafts shop. Before she could ask, Jeongyeon had already gone in, leaving her no choice but to follow.</p><p>The shop was packed to the brim with knick-knacks and accessories on every shelf and rack. She stopped in front of one of the racks which seemed to have keychains hanging on it. The keychains were made from wood and have words engraved on it. The sign read that these were words of encouragement and wishes.</p><p>“Do you remember that time you bought one and gave it to me?” Jeongyeon asked, suddenly appearing behind her.</p><p>“Yeah…” And she did remember, albeit patchy. This part of her memory wasn’t as affected as the rest. “But I don’t remember which one though.”</p><p>Jeongyeon hummed, fingers fluttering around the rack. “You bought me this one.” She grabbed a keychain with the word ‘Eternity’ on it. “It was for our 5th or 6th friendship anniversary. You chose this because you wanted to spend eternity with me.”</p><p>“That’s embarrassing.” Nayeon felt her cheeks heating up.</p><p>“Loosen up, we were kids,” Jeongyeon chuckled. “It was endearing.” She held onto the keychain, fingers feeling up the tiny object. “I’m going to buy this one for you.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Because that’s what I wish too, and two wishes would make it work better right?”</p><p>Nayeon blinked owlishly. “You’re saying that as if I’ll leave or something,” she chuckled nervously.</p><p>“Just a precaution,” Jeongyeon murmured. She turned and walked to the cash register. “Let’s get some beers later. We can hang out tonight and chill before we have to go back to reality.”</p><p>Nayeon trailed behind, chest tightening, but she didn’t know if it was from anxiety or pain.</p><p>———</p><p>Night descended upon them and they sat on the porch, overlooking the sea, drinking the beers they bought.</p><p>It wasn’t as bad as she had thought. Despite the mishaps, they did enjoy themselves. Three cans in and she started to feel the buzz. The atmosphere was nice and calm, but her stomach was in knots. She could sense that something was about to happen, like a dark cloud gathering in the sky signaling rain.</p><p>“Nayeon.”</p><p>“Yeah?” She turned her head and Jeongyeon was looking at her, expression unreadable.</p><p>“We’ll stay together no matter what right?”</p><p>No point in beating around the bush and she admired that part of her the most. “Yeah, I’m not going anywhere Jeongie.” She looked away, taking a chug of her drink. “I thought we were supposed to just chill tonight?”</p><p>Jeongyeon shook her head, smiling while taking a swig of her beer too. “Do you really think we’re not gonna do some deep talking? Especially when these past few weeks—no—<em> months </em> feels like you’re drifting so far away from me.” Her jaw tensed. “I feel like a stranger to you sometimes, as if you don’t know me anymore.”</p><p>Nayeon’s heart clenched. Before she could say anything, Jeongyeon interrupted her.</p><p>“But maybe that’s my imagination because today feels like how it’s used to. Like my best friend is really here with me.”</p><p>“I’m sorry.” Nayeon reached out to hold Jeongyeon’s hand, gripping it tightly. “I’m here, I’m with you and I’m not going anywhere. It’s rough for me these past years and I didn’t mean to push you away like that.”</p><p>Jeongyeon turned to her fully. “You don’t have to shoulder your burden alone Nayeon. Maybe I could even help you, who knows. And you know I’ll never turn my back on you.”</p><p>At that moment Nayeon thought about it. Thought about telling her everything that’s been happening, thought about what Jihyo had told her, answers, and closures.</p><p>She shook her head. “I don’t want to burden you too Jeongyeon. I’m getting the help that I need. I’ll… get better.” She decided then and there that she’ll heal by herself. Jeongyeon didn’t deserve to feel her pain. Besides, she still has a year. She smiled at the girl, squeezing her hand. “Thank you for not leaving me though, even though I’ve been such a shit friend to you.”</p><p>“You weren’t and I’m glad that at least I know you’re getting better.”</p><p>They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, trying to calm themselves after a very charged and emotional conversation.</p><p>“I have something to tell you and I think now is as good as any time to tell you. It’s one of the reasons why I’m afraid of losing you. But I know now that wouldn’t happen.”</p><p>Nayeon’s heart was beating erratically in her chest, hands sweating and butterflies fluttering in her stomach. Jeongyeon would not try to—or would she? Hope bloomed in her even though she wanted it to stop. “What is it?”</p><p>“I’m going to propose to Mina on her birthday and I was thinking of asking for your help to prepare it.”</p><p>Nayeon clenched her jaw, trying to stop herself from coughing and ultimately throwing up her heartbreak. That little hope that she’s been clinging on finally deteriorates. “I would be h-honor to help you,” she stuttered. Her stomach was churning, and she was having trouble breathing. She finally got her answer.</p><p>
  <em> Jeongyeon will never love her the way she wanted her to. </em>
</p><p>Jeongyeon smiled but immediately frowned when she saw how pale Nayeon was. “You alright?” She reached out to feel her forehead, but Nayeon flinched away.</p><p>“I-I need to go use the restroom. My stomach—” Nayeon got up and fled, ignoring Jeongyeon calling for her. Closing the door, she turned and keeled over the toilet bowl, letting out the contents of her stomach. The flowers poured out in heaps, so much so that she couldn’t breathe due to the continuous retching. It was the worst one yet as she kept on heaving. She coughed out a few petals that were stuck in her throat and then slumped to the wall. She didn’t even realize she was crying.</p><p>Jihyo’s voice kept ringing in her head. She got her answer, but she didn’t know it would hurt this badly like somebody was trying to rip her chest apart. </p><p>A series of knocks on the door startled her. Jeongyeon’s worried voice floated through.</p><p>“Nayeon are you okay?”</p><p>That was a loaded question, she thought. Suddenly, sharp pain lanced through her head. She groaned and clutched the area, hoping it would ease the pain, but it was too much. The coughing started again, but this time there was blood mixing with the petals. At that moment, Nayeon knew, she was at the peak of it.</p><p>The door burst open and Jeongyeon came in looking terrified. Her eyes flitted to the flowers in the toilet and onto her on the floor, struggling to breathe. Realization flickered through the girl’s eyes.</p><p>“Nayeon,” Jeongyeon whispered. She kneeled on the floor, hovering above her twitching body. “I’m sorry—”</p><p>“It’s not your fault,” Nayeon gasped out. “Jeongyeon it’s not your fault, don’t—” she slurred, vision beginning to darken. She couldn’t breathe. The last thing she heard was Jeongyeon calling for her, then darkness.</p><p>———</p><p>Sana was cooking dinner when she got a call from Jeongyeon. She rushed through her home getting ready, almost forgetting to turn off the stove as she made her way to the hospital. She was crying the whole way, a million different scenarios running through her head. All of it ended worse than the last.</p><p>When she arrived, she followed Jeongyeon’s instructions and went to the ER. Walking down the hall, she spotted Jeongyeon and Mina sitting outside an operating room. “Jeongyeon, what happened?” She asked. But Jeongyeon couldn’t answer her, still crying in the palm of her hands. She turned to Mina, desperate for an answer.</p><p>“Nayeon has Hanahaki,” Mina answered.</p><p>Sana tensed, heart stuttering at the news. She sat down opposite them; legs gave out. “Is it too late?”</p><p>Mina furrowed her eyebrows. “We don’t know yet. The doctors are checking her still.”</p><p>“Who?” Sana breathed out.</p><p>“Me,” Jeongyeon finally answered, looking up from her hands and into Sana’s eyes. “The flowers, it was forget-me-nots. M-my favorite,” she stuttered. She lets out a shuddering breath, “I d-didn’t realize. She was suffering so much, and I didn’t even realize—”</p><p>“Stop,” Sana interrupted. “Knowing Nayeon, she wouldn’t want you to blame yourself.” <em> But do you really know her? </em> Her brain supplied.</p><p>It was quiet again until they heard the clacking of heels coming their way. A blonde-haired doctor in a scrub walked straight towards them and Sana guessed that this must be the doctor Nayeon kept on meeting.</p><p>“Hello, I’m doctor Park. I’m here to tell you that we managed to stabilize Nayeon. We successfully pumped out the rest of the flowers.”</p><p>Jeongyeon stood first, letting out a relieved sigh. “So, she’s okay?”</p><p>“That remains to be seen, but she does show signs of recovery.”</p><p>“How?” Sana asked. As far as she knew, Hanahaki was impossible to treat when at its worst.</p><p>“The root had released itself from her nerves. But as to how <em> that </em>happened, we have to ask her when she wakes up.” Jihyo looked at the three of them. “You guys can either stay here or go home first because it’s going to be a while until she wakes up.”</p><p>Sana looked at the couple. “You guys should head home first. I’ll stay with her. You need a bit of time before you meet her.” The last line she directed towards Jeongyeon.</p><p>Jeongyeon looked like she wanted to protest, but a squeeze from Mina stopped her. “Fine. We’ll come back when she’s awake.”</p><p>Jihyo nodded. “Great, Sana you should follow me then.”</p><p>Sana followed the doctor, every step heavy as she walked closer to Nayeon’s room. Before she entered, she grabbed Jihyo’s hand, stopping her. “Is she really okay?”</p><p>“Based on the scans and results, it’s better than the last time she came, which is a miracle. However, she’s still not out of the woods yet. The root still needs to be operated out, which we will do in a couple of days. From my experience in this kind of situation, she might be on the first step of the process.”</p><p>“Process of what?”</p><p>“Letting go.”</p><p>“Oh.” Sana mashed her lips, finally grasping the situation. Her heart sank in her stomach when she realized that Nayeon might’ve never been in love with her in the first place. Jihyo’s hand on her shoulder startled her.</p><p>“I think it’s better if you both talk to each other first.”</p><p>Sana processed what Jihyo said and sighed. “Okay.”</p><p>———</p><p>Nayeon woke up with a jolt, eyes darting everywhere, taking in her surroundings. She realized a few seconds later that she’s in a hospital, judging by the bland white ceiling and needles stabbed into her. She sank down into the bed, closing her eyes because of how tired and weary she was to the bone. Jeongyeon must’ve called an ambulance or took her to the hospital herself.</p><p>She jolted again when she remembered what had happened. Jeongyeon had found her on the floor of her bathroom, half dying. Before she could process more on it, her eyes caught movement on her left, startling her. It was Sana, sleeping soundly next to her. Her throat tightened up, hot tears beginning to roll down her cheeks at the sight. Sana knew. She reached out and brushed a few strands of hair obscuring her face, startling her awake.</p><p>“Nayeon?”</p><p>“S-Sana,” she stuttered, full-on crying at this point. “I’m s-sorry.”</p><p>Sana blinked owlishly, then cupped her face, rubbing the tears away with her thumb. “Nayeon, it’s okay—”</p><p>“It’s not okay.”</p><p>Sana sighed, rubbing her cheeks gently. “Why is that Nayeon?”</p><p>“I,” Nayeon mulled over her answer, “because you don’t deserve this mess.”</p><p>“Then why did you say yes Nayeon?” Sana asked, eyes glistening as she clutched Nayeon’s hand as if to ground herself.</p><p>“Because I thought I could love you back.”</p><p>“So, you can’t?”</p><p>Nayeon squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. “I want to. I really do.”</p><p>Sana pressed the palm of her hand on Nayeon’s chest. “But it hurts, doesn’t it?”</p><p>“Yes,” Nayeon whimpered. Then she was embraced by Sana, her familiar warmth a comfort. A comfort that she took for granted. She cried harder, drenching Sana’s shirt with her tears.</p><p>Sana ran her fingers through her hair, kissing her forehead softly. They stayed like that until Nayeon’s sobs reduced to sniffles.</p><p>“I had a feeling. That there’s something going on,” Sana murmured in her hair, scooting down so they were face to face with each other. “I noticed it, how lovingly you look at Jeongyeon sometimes. But I ignored it, hoping that it’s just me being paranoid. I told Mina about it, but I didn’t say it was Jeongyeon.”</p><p>“That’s what you guys were talking about the other day.”</p><p>Sana nodded.</p><p>Nayeon continued. “At the restaurant during lunch, Mina came to the restroom to talk to me. She knew who Jihyo was, so she knew about this,” she gestured to her chest, “already.”</p><p>“She didn’t say anything to me,” Sana murmured. “For a good reason, I suppose.”</p><p>It was quiet once again, the beeping sound of the monitor a background noise, blanketing them. Nayeon traced Sana’s face with her eyes, committing everything to memory. The face that she woke up next to for the past 2 years. The person who had given her all to her, but she couldn’t even give back a quarter of it.</p><p>Sana didn’t deserve this and Nayeon didn’t deserve her.</p><p>Her train of thought was interrupted when Sana swept her hair away from her face.</p><p>“What are you thinking of Nayeon?” Sana asked.</p><p>“That we need a break.”</p><p>Sana inhaled sharply, totally taken aback by what Nayeon had just said. “Are you still in love?”</p><p>“No. I got my answer.” She took in a deep breath and released it slowly, trying to calm herself. “I’m still hurt, and I don’t want t-to rope you along like this. I can’t just brush away the fact that I tried to use you to heal myself. So, I’m going to do it by myself. I’ll heal by myself.”</p><p>Sana leaned forward and pressed her forehead against Nayeon’s. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe we do need some time for ourselves,” she murmured, cupping Nayeon’s face gently. “But my feelings won’t change, I need you to know that.”</p><p>Nayeon sighed, heart, fluttering at the admission. To think that the love she craved for was here all along, but she was too blind to see it. In the end, it almost cost her, her life. “I’ll do my best. I’ll heal from this, I promise.”</p><p>“I believe you Nayeon.”</p><p>Fresh hot tears rolled down her cheeks once again when they kissed. Neither knew who leaned in first, but it didn’t matter. It was salty and wet because she was crying, but it made her feel warm all over, like being kissed by the sun. In a way, Sana was her sun.</p><p>They stayed intertwined for a couple of hours, talking softly with one another about anything and everything they could think of. They talked until the ray of the morning sun peeked through the hospital blinds, signaling a new day.</p><p>Sana was the first to rise, sitting at the edge of the bed stretching. “I should go get Jihyo.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“Do you want me to call Jeongyeon too?”</p><p>A rush of adrenaline spiked through her. She tensed, contemplating whether she’s ready or not. But with one look at Sana she realized that she needed to do this. To start healing so she could come back better for herself and for Sana.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>———</p><p>Jeongyeon arrived immediately after Jihyo left, looking weary and guarded. Nayeon felt bad that it was suddenly hard for them to be in a room together. The girl stood at the other side of the room, but it felt like they were a world apart.</p><p>“Kind of far there Jeongie,” she said gently, smiling to try making herself look harmless.</p><p>“Can I come near you?”</p><p>Nayeon’s heart dropped. “it’s not contagious.”</p><p>Jeongyeon frowned. “I know that. I don’t want to further agitate it because I know it’ll get worse if I come near.”</p><p>Nayeon lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Relieve washed over her. Jeongyeon wasn’t afraid of her. “You’re not. I’m not that fragile anyway.”</p><p>Jeongyeon came closer and sat on the chair placed next to her bed. “Apparently not because you survived.”</p><p>Nayeon guffawed. “You sound disappointed.”</p><p>Jeongyeon rolled her eyes. “I’m not.”</p><p>It went better than she had expected. They were bantering as usual and Nayeon softened herself. “How are you?”</p><p>“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?” Jeongyeon furrowed her eyebrows. “Because I did find you collapsed on the floor of my bathroom, gasping for air.”</p><p>Nayeon looked away in shame. “Probably not a good thing to experience huh.” She gripped the sheet, eyes cast downward. “I’m doing okay,” she looked up, “I think.” She got startled when Jeongyeon’s hand covered hers.</p><p>“Please Nayeon be honest with me. Are you really okay?”</p><p>Nayeon could feel tears pricked the corner of her eyes, but she willed herself to not cry. The raw emotion in Jeongyeon’s voice had her feeling heavy. “I am but at the same time, I’m not. It’s complicated.”</p><p>“What can I do to help?”</p><p>Nayeon’s shoulders sagged. She took a second to think. “Just listen, because that’s the only way to do this.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Nayeon intertwined their hands together. “I love you Jeongyeon.” She shook her head, “or <em> loved </em> you more like.”</p><p>“Since when?” Jeongyeon asked curiously.</p><p>“Since a long time ago. Even before I understood what kind of love it was.” She squeezed Jeongyeon’s hand. “If we want to go deeper into this, it was the time when we—,” she stopped abruptly, eyes widening in awe. “Huh.”</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>“I-I remember. I’m remembering things,” she stuttered, “I remember you.” Her memories weren’t as patchy and cloudy as it was before, and she could remember some of the parts clearly. The part that has Jeongyeon in it. A squeeze from the girl snapped her back into the moment. She smiled at Jeongyeon softly. “Do you remember that time we went out to the park at night past our curfew? We talked about the future and where we’ll be on the swings.”</p><p>“I do. We went out because the next day was finals and I was anxious. You took me out to calm and distract me.”</p><p>“It was at that time where I fell in love with you because I looked at you and couldn’t help but notice how pretty you were. I wanted to kiss you.”</p><p>“Why didn’t you,” Jeongyeon asked.</p><p>“Because I was scared,” she breathed out. “I was scared that it’ll ruin everything. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. So, I kept it down and the feelings festered into something else, taking root inside of me.” She blinked and a tear rolled down her cheek. Jeongyeon rubbed it away with her thumb. She smiled at the gesture.</p><p>She continued, “and then you met Mina. I thought it would be the end of it. I thought I could move on, but I cling to it. I wasn’t ready to let it go. It was such an asshole thing for me to do too because I kept thinking and hoping, what if,” she licked her lips, “what if you’ll choose me in the end.” She closed her eyes, waiting for the anger she’s been dreading, but it didn’t come.</p><p>“And then I practically shred you apart with that news…” Jeongyeon trailed off.</p><p>“It was needed. I need to wake up and let go of this dead hope.”</p><p>“Even though you’re with Sana.”</p><p>Nayeon sighed. “Even though I’m with Sana. Which is one of the worst things I could’ve ever done, but it helped. She <em> helped </em> me but I’m just too stupidly <em> stubborn </em> to stop,” she huffed.</p><p>Jeongyeon chuckled, “that’s like your number one trait.” She got up from the chair and sat next to Nayeon on the bed, shoulders knocking as she forced her to scoot over. When she’s settled, she took a second to think, wringing her hands together until Nayeon pulled it to intertwine it with hers. “Thank you for telling me this Nayeon and I’m sorry that you had to go through this. If I would’ve known, I,” she paused then closed her mouth.</p><p>“You would’ve rejected me sooner?”</p><p>“I don’t even know,” Jeongyeon murmured.</p><p>Nayeon squeezed her hand. “What’s done is done. I’ve fully accepted it and I understand if you want to stay away from me after this—”</p><p>“Don’t say that. I’ve told you a million times already Nayeon. I’m not going anywhere. We’re going to stay together no matter what because I still love you. You’re important to me.”</p><p>Nayeon’s lips wobbled, tears gathering at the corner of her eyes. “Eternity, huh?”</p><p>“Guess the wish came through. Told you 2 would work.” Jeongyeon cried too, but she was smiling so brightly. That smile that she loved so much.</p><p>Nayeon turned her body to hug Jeongyeon tightly and the girl returned it twice as hard.</p><p>“We’ll be fine,” Jeongyeon mumbled into her shoulder.</p><p>Nayeon burrowed deeper into the hug. They will.</p><p>———</p><p>
  <em> 1 Year Later </em>
</p><p>Nayeon could feel herself about to doze off, head bobbing trying not to sleep. It was 5 am and her flight was at 8 am, but Jeongyeon insisted they arrive earlier so as to not feel rushed. She almost succumbed to sleep until a coffee cup was in her face.</p><p>Jeongyeon looked at her with a shit-eating grin, “I told you to get the afternoon flight.”</p><p>Nayeon took the cup gratefully. “But you know I prefer the quiet morning flight than the bustling afternoon one.”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah I know,” Jeongyeon waved it off, plopping herself down next to her.</p><p>They sipped their coffee slowly, watching the sun slowly rising through the glass window of the airport.</p><p>“Can’t believe you’re actually moving to Osaka,” Jeongyeon spoke up.</p><p>“Korea is getting too boring for me.”</p><p>Jeongyeon guffawed, her coffee sloshing dangerously in her cup when she swiveled to look at Nayeon. “Oh wow, you haven’t even gone to Jeju and you’re going to say it’s boring? Just say that I bore you and go.”</p><p>Nayeon cackled at that, something so farfetched and so far from the truth. When the laughter died down, they were calm again.</p><p>“I really didn’t think you’d accept the offer.”</p><p>“Me neither. But I thought, why not have a change of scenery, you know?” It wasn’t just because of that though, Nayeon thought. The apartment felt too empty after Sana left and went back home to Japan.</p><p>Despite the decision for them to take a break, Sana never left her side at the hospital. But only when Nayeon was deemed healthy and got discharged did Sana tell her about the move to Japan. She didn’t say anything and even helped her pack. They went to the airport together with Jeongyeon and Mina and that was the last time she heard from Sana.</p><p>It was a solemn moment as Nayeon’s heart screamed at her to do something. But she didn’t and she watched as the person that genuinely loved her board that flight without looking back. Sitting in the airport invoked her memory of that time, but it seemed, she wasn’t the only one thinking about her.</p><p>“I wonder if you’ll meet Sana there.”</p><p>Nayeon shrugged. “Japan is pretty big. It’ll take fate for that to happen.”</p><p>“Maybe fate will give you a chance and you’ll see what an idiot you were for breaking up with her like that,” Jeongyeon huffed.</p><p>“You’re still angry…”</p><p>Jeongyeon scoffed, side-eyeing her. “Uhm, yes? Because that’s the dumbest decision you could’ve ever made. You didn’t even tell me about it until after Sana left for Japan.”</p><p>Nayeon slouched in her seat, covering her face. “I know I fucked up,” she groaned.</p><p>“You could’ve known that sooner if you told me,” Jeongyeon grumbled.</p><p>Nayeon sighed. She got an earful from Jeongyeon after she told her about the breakup. She even got ignored for a week.</p><p>“Sometimes you’re too selfless Nayeon. Makes me want to tear my hair out,” Jeongyeon huffed. “You even almost killed your own emotions because you didn’t want to inconvenience me with your feelings.”</p><p>“I thought we were done with that topic.” Nayeon yelped when she felt a pinch on her shoulder.</p><p>“As if.”</p><p>“Maybe I should’ve asked Mina to send me,” she mumbled.</p><p>Jeongyeon barked out a laugh. “You think she’s not going to hold back on the sarcasm? Bet she’ll be worse than me.”</p><p>Nayeon mulled over and couldn’t help but agree. Mina was ruthless with her after the news broke. It’s always the quiet ones, as they say.</p><p>“Anyways, you better come to my wedding when the time comes.”</p><p>Nayeon smiled, her heart wasn’t as broken at hearing it. “I helped 90% of it. You think I don’t want to come and see my masterpiece?” She giggled when Jeongyeon pushed her shoulder.</p><p>“Ass.”</p><p>Nayeon laughed harder and calmed down when she spotted the clock on the wall. It's almost half an hour before boarding. She sighed, “almost time.”</p><p>“We can walk there slowly.”</p><p>They got up and started walking to the other side of the airport, where Nayeon’s gate was. It was quiet and comfortable, no conversation needed because they wanted to bask in each other's presence.</p><p>When they reached the gate, Jeongyeon spun her around and pulled her in for a tight hug. Nayeon sucked in her breath, trying not to cry and she could feel Jeongyeon did the same.</p><p>“I promise that I’ll come to your wedding.”</p><p>“I know you will.”</p><p>“I promise I’ll come around lots of time when I have a break so that we can hang out with each other.”</p><p>“We’ll even have a room for you in our apartment.”</p><p>Nayeon let out a shaky breath, chuckling. “Goodbye Jeongyeon.”</p><p>“Goodbye Nayeon.”</p><p>They parted ways, light in their every step.</p><p>———</p><p>Nayeon settled in Japan nicely. The apartment she rented was cozy despite being small and rundown; it has personality. Her neighbor—a woman by the name Momo—was super nice with her and helped her get used to her surroundings. They became fast friends because of this even though Nayeon’s Japanese wasn’t a hundred percent good, but it didn’t dampen the interaction.</p><p>She even developed a routine of some sort and it helped keep her mind off things.</p><p>It was a nice chilly Saturday and one of the things that she usually did to combat the cold and boredom was to go to the café down the street.</p><p>She entered the place, heading straight towards the counter to order her drink. The barista even memorized it and went to work on her drink immediately as soon as he spotted her. She sat by the window, sipping her cup slowly as she watched the people hustle and bustle through the street. </p><p>The doorbell rang and it pulled her attention. She froze in her seat, warmth washing over her body at the sight of Sana walking in.</p><p>She observed her, not making any moves because she didn’t know what to do. The girl in question ordered her drink and scanned the café for an empty seat. Their eyes met and both were astonished to see each other.</p><p>Sana snapped out of it when the barista called her name and she slowly walked to the back of the café, looking at Nayeon the whole time, as if to see if she was real.</p><p>Nayeon stared back and the word fate kept looping in her head. She got up from her seat and walked towards the girl with her cup in hand. Sana’s smile got wider with her every step and she could feel herself doing the same.</p><p>“Can I sit with you?” Nayeon asked. The question that Sana had asked her when they first met.</p><p>“Yes.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading if you guys made it this far. See ya'll in the next one! Twt @anothingqueer</p></blockquote></div></div>
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